The menu method: a divergent approach to routines

Eat up your routines

Routines are not the most titillating topic. For a newsletter focused on non-conformity, you may think routines are rigid and limiting, and most traditional approaches are exactly that: rigid, boring, and unsustainable. I would try countless routines, hoping to achieve the aesthetic of a YouTube vlog in real-time. I would set up the perfect routine, and after three days, I felt drained because I was working against my flow.

Routines can be challenging, especially if they feel rigid or overwhelming. For neurodivergent people, traditional routines can quickly drain energy because they don’t consider our energy levels. We are not robots. Some days, you may be bustling with energy; others, it’s a chore to shower. I was tired of beating myself up because I didn’t do things as planned each day, but as fast as my mind moved, I couldn’t afford not to have a plan, so I kept the routine but reframed my approach.

I owned my routine. My routine did not own me.

Enter the Menu Method, a personalized approach to self-care that provides the structure you need while honoring your daily energy.

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What is the Menu Method?

The Menu Method is a flexible routine system in which you categorize your self-care practices (e.g., oral care, facial care, rest) and list options within each category. Each category has one non-negotiable task to maintain essential habits, but you can choose additional tasks based on your energy level.

Example: For oral care, brushing your teeth might be the non-negotiable. Other choices, like flossing or mouthwash, become options rather than obligations. This lets you adapt your routine daily without feeling like you're failing when you're not up for everything. This is especially helpful if you are dealing with burnout.

A picture of my current morning menu routine

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How to Set Up Your Menu

With the menu method, you are in control of your routine. No more doing nothing because you didn’t have the energy to do everything. Let’s set it up!

1. Determine Where You Need Routine: Think about the times during the day when you feel the most stress and would benefit from a routine. I started with the morning because, on most days, I was stressed before 9 a.m. Common routines are:

   1. Morning

   2. Midday Reset (A game changer for busy mornings)

   3. Evening Routines

2. List Out Your Categories Think about things that, if not completed, will throw your day off. Here you are thinking about your future self. I always include rest in every routine menu because it keeps me grounded. Without rest, I recreate the productivity standards I am trying so hard to unlearn. Categories for a morning routine could include:

   • Oral Care

   • Facial Care

   • Body Cate

   • Rest

   If you want to learn more about the seven types of rest, check out my post, Grounded. 7 Strategies to Prevent Burnout and Improve Well-Being

3. Define Your Non-Negotiables: Choose one essential task in each category to keep you consistent. This way, you're setting a minimum you know you can achieve. Brushing your teeth is an example of a non-negotiable action. I am not walking out of the house without brushing my teeth, but if I don’t have the energy to floss, I don’t. There is no shame here.

   Also, consider setting guardrails to reduce resistance and distractions. I often found myself scrolling, hungry, and in a robe until noon because I was distracted by social media. Now, I have my phone set to shut up social media during my routine to save me from myself. Consider what things can throw you off and plan for them.

   You can read more about guardrails in my post, Guardrails: Recovering and Reclaiming Your Life During Burnout.

4. Create Your Menu Options Once you outline your categories and non-negotiable tasks, brainstorm what you would include in your dream routine and list them as menu options. For example, if you have a goal of journaling every day after your divination, add that to the list of options. If you can get to it, great, but if you miss a day, it’s okay because at least you brushed your teeth 😁

   The goal is to honor your energy, time, and mental space, so choose things that give you joy. I listed a few examples below.

   • Example: For Spiritual Rest:

     • Meditate for 5 minutes

     • Journal a few thoughts

     • Light a candle and set an intention

     • Stretch or do a brief movement exercise

5. Personalize and Adjust As you practice this method, refine your options based on what feels realistic and satisfying. Your menu should empower you, not create more stress.

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Tools to Support Your Menu

I have used the Structured Daily Planner app to support my routines for two years. Structured combines your calendar and tasks. You can set a time and duration for everything you need, and a visual time is included to see time in “real-time.” If you are new to planning routines and need ideas for your menu, the app also includes AI to create routines that adjust to your preferences.

Pricing

The base plan for Structured is free, or you can upgrade to Pro for $1.49 a month or $9.99 a year! I am currently on monthly but will upgrade yearly to save my coins, especially at this price. It is available on IOS and the Google Play store. They also just launched a web app to access it across devices.

*This is not a sponsored post — YET. Structured, if you see this, let’s talk.

Why the Menu Method Works

By giving yourself flexibility, you honor your energy levels and make space for self-compassion. This method empowers you to choose self-care actions rather than feeling controlled by them, reducing the guilt and burnout that can come from rigid routines.

Additional Applications

I even use the menu method to plan meals for my home. I have a family of five beautifully neurodivergent minds, so keeping a list of options streamlines grocery shopping, saves money, and reduces decision fatigue. How often have you felt instant stress trying to figure out what to eat? What if, instead, you just had a menu of foods you know you like? I have included an example of my breakfast menu below.

A picture of a breakfast menu for my home. Feel free to replicate with foods you enjoy.

Final Thoughts

Creating sustainable routines is challenging for neurodivergent individuals. The Menu Method offers a solution that aligns with their needs, fostering consistent self-care without the weight of inflexibility.

I genuinely hope this helps you. Please leave a comment. I would love to hear from you.