An Ode to the Strong Friend

A mask too heavy to bare.

Last week, I wrote about the transformation process, using the caterpillar's transformation into a butterfly to illustrate that we must consume our ego to align it with our souls to manifest our best version of ourselves. Check out the article here if you missed it. I also committed to sharing my weekly journey of unmasking as a source of inspiration for your journey to self. I realize now that commitment was more for me than my audience, as that commitment was the only thing that brought me to the page this week. 

I am “the strong friend” archetype. I have always presented myself as having everything together, even when it is falling apart. I am rarely vulnerable and do not like to show up when I don’t have it all together. It is the mask that has held me back the longest because it stops me from showing up authentically. Reflecting on my life, I realize the strong friend narrative was born from my intelligence. I was always called an old soul, meaning to my family that I didn’t need as much guidance because I was trusted to figure it out, leading me to figure out things for myself and others from a very young age. Back then, some folks called it a gift, and others called it Asperger’s

For me, I call it a mask.

A mask is a persona created or expanded upon to meet one's needs, including love, belonging, and material necessities.

This “strong-smart” mask created an overreliance on my rationality and a disconnection from my intuition, manifesting as a person who has achieved conventional success but is highly dissatisfied with what has been manifested. This dissatisfaction has led me to question the moments I progressed down this path when I knew better. For every situation in my life that I am dissatisfied with, I remember critical points where I knew I should have gone in a different direction. Still, I continued because I could not rationally see a better path that was better than my current one.

Everything in my life is changing—everything, including my definition of better. Some days, I am incredibly grateful for a long-awaited change. Yet, on other days, trusting my intuition is hard because there is no blueprint, just loose guidance, angel numbers, and vibes. We all have intuition, but most of us have trauma that causes us to disconnect from it so that we can feel safe. We limit our possibilities to what we can see to the point that dreaming seems irresponsible or counterproductive. This week illuminated how much I rely on the world's systems to affirm me. I also know that my success in my new reality depends not on my ability to plan but on my ability to feel and trust myself.

I don't know what this transformation will bring, but I know it's a matter of life or death, and the outcome is in my hands. All I can do is trust the process beyond what I can see and continue to prepare myself physically, emotionally, and spiritually to align with my purpose and reclaim my power. I can’t ignore my discomfort or my tears. I can’t wait for others to validate me or my ideas. Nor can I run from the fact that while it sounds inspiring, it's an incredibly difficult journey to divorce from the old version of yourself to create a new one. Like a divorce, it requires grace, grief, and acknowledgment of your contribution to separation. Otherwise, you risk a cyclical cycle of disappointment because you can’t manifest an abundant life with a limited mind.

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Updates

Posting Schedule 

I will now be posting on Substack twice a week. Sunday’s are dedicated to my reflections from Unmasking. The second post will highlight the tools I use to support my Unmasking Process. These posts will include a combination of 

• Affirmations

• Journal Prompts,

• Herbs and Supplements 

• Digital and Analog Tools 

• Book Reviews and Recommendations 

• And much more! 

The first post is ready, but I would like to hear from you– the community. Your feedback is crucial. What day would be the best for you to receive this information: Tuesday, Wednesday, or Thursday? Your input will shape the future of our journey together. 

Note to Paid Subscribers

After much consideration, I have decided to keep my content accessible to all subscribers. I have tried my best to differentiate what should be paid versus free content, but it feels wrong to add a paywall to premium content, especially when the people who are the most marginalized are often left out.

If you have paid for a subscription, please continue to support me, and I will be forever grateful. Your contributions are not taken for granted. They serve as a means of reciprocity and allow me to focus on writing and building Unconventional Intelligence into a sustainable business to support social change for neurodivergent people worldwide.

Overall, I am glad I came to the page today. I hope you can show up in the ways that matter in your life because the world needs you.