A eulogy dedicated to my old self

Notes on Unmasking, Grief, Self-Love and Transcendence

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I have spent five years intentionally healing, realigning, and reclaiming my life. In my post “Your Ego is Your Biggest Opp,” I shared that I surrendered to my soul instead of aligning with my ego. The energy alignment that occurred after led me to close the last chapter of my unmasking journey—transcendence.

Transcendence of self—living at the level of Being—is assumed to be most possible for the person with a strong and free identity.

I wasn’t sure what to expect when I surrendered, nor did I think the energy would align so quickly. I have gained the clarity to trust the life I create, not the one I accepted.

As I close this chapter, I invite you to join me in saying goodbye to an old version of myself—a version that served its purpose but no longer fits the person I’m becoming. This is not a sad farewell but a celebration of growth, transformation, and the lessons learned along the way. I’ve spent years chasing success, trying to fit into systems that weren’t built for me, and striving to be everything for everyone. It was exhausting, and eventually, it broke me open in the best way possible.

Through grief, struggle, and self-discovery, I learned the art of letting go—letting go of perfection, control, and the idea that I needed to prove my worth. In this post, I share a eulogy to my former self—a tribute to her strength, resilience, and the journey she carried me through. She is still a part of me, just in a different role. It’s a reminder that growth often requires us to release who we are and become who we are meant to be.

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Today, we gather not to mourn but to honor the life of someone who worked tirelessly to build a life she thought was enough—a life shaped by hard work, external validation, and carefully constructed plans. She believed the world’s promise: that effort alone could forge a path to fulfillment. But in her pursuit of success, she lost touch with who she was. She gave so much, often too much until there was nothing left to give.

She was fierce and determined, carrying a strength that inspired admiration and respect. She pushed forward despite the obstacles life threw her way, whether navigating motherhood as a young student or reshaping her life to follow her heart. Her resilience was awe-inspiring, yet it came at a cost.

As we reflect, it’s clear that she worked so hard to control what felt uncontrollable. Life, however, does not bend to our plans. She learned this as she juggled education, single motherhood, and a career, all while trying to meet the demands of systems that often drained more than they gave. Even in her struggle, she never stopped trying. She longed for temperance—for balance—but her tenacity always kept her moving, often too fast to pause and breathe.

I remember the times she would drive us, circling the block while clinging to the wheel, desperate for control. She would take the fast lane, always moving forward but unable to sustain the pace. She burned out, as we often do, and I sat with her in the moments she cried. I wanted her to let go, to release the need to have it all together, but she could only learn through experience.

She passed through every stage of grief before she could finally let go: denial, bargaining, anger, and depression. She fought with herself, shaming her perceived shortcomings, yet never realizing the incredible strength it took to keep going. It wasn’t until the end of her journey that she allowed herself to feel the weight of it all and to recognize her own courage.

Her children reminded her of what truly mattered. They brought her restless energy to the present, grounding her in the physical, forcing her to feel what she had long suppressed. They demanded her attention, not to plans or rules, but to life itself. Through them, she finally began to heal, not by doing more but by learning to simply be.

In quiet moments, she often asked, “Why do you send me these challenges, God?” She didn’t realize that those very challenges would become her greatest teachers. In the end, she found a version of herself that no longer sought validation or chased perfection. She found someone who embraced her shadows, tapped into her dreams, and learned to heal.

Today, I eulogize not the woman she was but the lessons she leaves behind. She reminds us that life is not about endless striving. It’s about temperance—finding balance between doing and being, between planning and surrender. She teaches us that no matter how strong or capable we are, we are allowed to rest, to release, and to trust that we are enough just as we are.

Her journey wasn’t linear, but it was transformative. While she is no longer with us in the form she once was, she lives on in this new version of herself—more grounded, more authentic, and more at peace. She leaves behind the wisdom that it’s okay to evolve, shed what no longer serves us, and step into a life of our own making.

Let us celebrate her resilience, her transformation, and the freedom she found at the end of her journey. May she inspire us all to accept ourselves fully, to heal our shadows, and to live a life rooted in love, not striving.

Rest now, dear one. Your work is done, and you are finally free.